Episode #17: How to Become a High Value Woman & Heal Your Anxious Attachment Style

This episode features Kay Robbs, a Connecticut-based lifestyle blogger whose platform is all about wellness, food, self-care, and fun date ideas. Kay’s grounded presence and honest perspective make her the perfect guest to dive into a conversation about healing anxious attachment and stepping into your high-value era.

We talk about the deep fear of abandonment that drives anxious attachment, and how often that fear shows up as anxiety, overthinking, and people-pleasing. Kay and I unpack what it means to truly begin healing—from reparenting yourself and regulating your nervous system, to finally learning how to emotionally support yourself rather than relying on constant validation from others. We also talk about something so many women struggle with: over-giving. We overextend because it feels good to love people, and because somewhere along the way, we never learned where the line was. But the truth is, you can’t keep pouring from an empty cup. At some point, your body, your energy, your peace—will ask for more.

Kay shares her personal mindset shift: “I don’t want to wake up and have regrets.” That perspective led us to discuss emotional reactivity, learning to communicate from a regulated place, and how to speak the same love-language as your partner. I also opened up about my own experience being triggered in my relationship with my husband, and how I’ve learned to de-escalate conflict by leading with curiosity and compassion.

We also talk about the art of detachment, and how real healing begins with self-awareness. You don’t heal by shaming your past—you heal by owning your patterns, recognizing your power, and choosing differently. As Kay puts it, “Anxiously attached people don’t live in the present.” And if you want something different, it’s on you to create it. 

This episode is full of wisdom around becoming a high value woman—not in the hustle, toxic-femininity kind of way—but in a grounded, peaceful, self-led way. We explore what it means to trust yourself deeply, stop taking things personally, set boundaries with grace, let go of people-pleasing, and create a life that feels aligned and beautiful to you.

Want to connect with Kay Robbs and find your next spot for a facial, a date, or some seriously yummy food? Follow her at @kayrobbsmua and let her guide your next self-care moment or local adventure!

If you want to connect with me, you can find me on Instagram (@hottakesonhealing) or visit my website at www.jessleone.com. 

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